Accepting Change

September 23, 2012 Joni Sturgill

“Everything changes, nothing remains without change.” ~ Buddha

We grow from babies to children to adults. Trees drop their leaves and grow new ones each spring. The moon looks different each night. Why do we resist other changes in our lives? Whether our job changes; we get married or divorced; have a new baby or experience an empty nest, change abounds. Friends move away, loved ones pass, tragedy happens. And yet we are surprised when around the corner something occurs that we didn't expect.

We "don't want" it to happen, we resist the inevitability of it and sometimes metaphorically bang our head against a wall in that resistance ... as if our will is strong enough to control others involved or to make the situation disappear. If you get angry enough or depressed enough ... is that going to elicit change in your favor? Or are you just burning yourself with that feeling of resistance?

“I am open to the guidance of synchronicity, and do not let expectations hinder my path.”

~ Dalai Lama

Sometimes we have to go with the flow of where we're being guided... and accept there is a reason we are on the path we're on ... even when it's challenging ... even when we don't get our way. This is often when we can experience the most growth ... in times of difficulty. But you have to be open to the experience. You have to open your eyes and heart to the many lessons you can learn from each situation. Resisting those lessons ... is resisting what life is offering you ... and is setting yourself up for pain and misery.

This year has been one of major change for me, personally. Around every corner is a new experience to address and digest ... separation, divorce, selling my home, the death of my dog, and managing life as a single mother. I've had waves of resistance and fear, and waves of surrender and acceptance. Moving onward, I know what feels better ... I know where I can feel peace. I know that I learn a lot more when I allow myself to let go, relax and see where this path leads. I feel a true inner happiness when I trust and have faith that I am right where I'm supposed to be.

All this talk of surrender might lead one to question ... is it always better to be passive? Should I never stand up for myself or fight? What's the point in trying if I have no control over anything and I'm supposed to just go with the flow?

Surrendering does not mean you're giving up or inactive. To surrender is simply to accept the situation you're in. Sometimes you do need to stand up for your rights, stand up for what's right, or take action for what you believe in. This is part of surrender too. To fearlessly and calmly move past the "I wish this didn't happen to me" stage, and to accept where you are. Own it. Breathe it in. Then you can decide if you need to take action or if you can let it go and not respond at all.

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." ~ Winston Churchill

We plan out our lives. We set goals. We hope and dream. This is part of the human experience and often how we find happiness in life. But sometimes things don't happen in the way we expect. Thinking about the seasons always helps me. We are never stuck in a perpetual winter. It may feel that way sometimes, but spring always comes. The sun will come out after the rain. So surrender in the storm. Accept that change is part of the natural ebb and flow. Soften into life's challenges and awaken to a new perspective ... that everything is as it should be.

“We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aid, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn.” ~ Henry David Thoreau